What do you see when you look into the mirror?

Its amazing to see women in the bathrooms, care for the mask they wear in the mirror.  The outer shells of who they are, being primped as if to go be on ‘stage’. Lip gloss being applied, hair being quaffed (fancy word for messed with).  Eyeliner being smudged back in-line.

And as drones, each walks to the wall, like a pre-programmed robot…there to fix the mask.  What lies behind the mask?

The reality.  The story.  The intimate woman.  The human, being…a mask.

Next time you have the chance, take a moment to observe how many women seize the opportunity to look at themselves…dead in the eye, to acknowledge the human who is being…beautiful, angry, hurt, sexy, frustrated…lonely.  You will be amazed at how how much effort goes into NOT looking at the woman behind these masks.    Once in awhile, you might see her make eye contact, and in a split-second, you will then see her ‘get focused’ back to the task of covering up.

We are so programmed to run from reality, that when we are faced with it…front and center, literally…fog to the mirror…we choose to pretend it isn’t sitting there…staring us in the face.

Try this…Gut Check Activity

Look at the two women’s faces above.  Notice first the woman on top.  Notice her eyes. Now…look at the eyes of the woman below.

Did your emotions react?  How so?  How nervous did you get?  How long did you hold the gaze?

Whatever the case may be, in how you answered these questions…think about them in terms of how you connect eye-to-eye with real-life people.  Deeper yet…recognize your answers when you catch yourself…in the mirror.

Can you look yourself in the eyes…and hold the gaze of what you see?

* Kathy is now accepting applications into her 12-month Breakthru Program.

To inquire about the application process contact her at

(813) 786-7226 or email her at kathy@oncoreperformance.com.

Shame’s & Should’s Don’t Break You.  Dismissal Does.

Working at HSN taught me a great deal about the fashion industry.  There was a phrase I heard people say on almost a daily basis during lunch, ‘Either she is lacking a mirror or a friend with THAT outfit today!”  Fashion and personal image were a centerpiece of conversation. This is not to say that these weren’t well intended people, or that there wasn’t more substance to the hearts and work done there.  But, it was a cornerstone habit…of judgement .

Shame for not looking good, living a life of should’s…keeps us focused on image and acceptance from the outside.  And too many times we have experienced ‘the mean girls’ syndrome, and been dismissed by the crowd.  Wanting to belong is as natural to humans as breathing.  And belonging is taught from a very early age, as something that we must receive from the outside.

And so, the fuss in the mirror, the effort to look good.

Something missing in SO MANY of the high-powered women I coach, is a foundation of esteem.  A mature sense of self-worth. A humbly, declared position…’that I matter enough, to be granted the right of expecting and receiving personal attention because…no matter what, I’ve got value to offer this world.”

We so often seek being valued by the outside…without first, going inside…coming front & center with our OWN faith in who we are, what we are up to, and how it matters.

 

Face Yourself.  Exercising Faith

1.  Make an effort to stop fiddling with your body in the mirror.  Put your hands down.  Open your eyes, chin up…and with that anxious feeling in our gut…look into your own eyes.

2. Name people who have benefited from knowing you.  People who have sent you thank you cards.  People that took their time to reach out to you.  People who surprised you with gratitude.

3. Reason with yourself:  if these people can find value…then how can there NOT be merit to it?  How is that even possible?

4. With all that I can name wrong  about myself…what do I need to acknowledge is good.  What IS beautiful about me?

 

A quote for you…

“While you may not see what lies ahead for you, be okay to walk alone and listen to who YOUARE MEANT… TO BE.  Walk in Faith of this GOOD news, and learn to let go of worry that you may not stack-up…against the mirror.”

 

*Kathy has designed a 12-month Destination Breakthru Coaching Program.

This is an application-only program.

To inquire about this program and the application process, contact Kathy at (813) 786-7226 or email her at kathy@oncoreperformance.com.