The hardships and lessons from all my years were situations intended to give me points of reference, to work through and call upon for empathy AND strength.  Without them, I would not have the wings to allow Destination Breakthru™ this new era in my life to take flight.

Opening the Floodgates

Back in college, (just a “few” years ago -wink) I went through a period of time where I was very… shall we say…confused, about many things.  I asked questions many people ask such as, “who am I?”, “what’s my purpose?”, and “what am I supposed to do with my life?”  I had also begun to recognize some demons I wrestled with and how hard I was working to keep them at bay.

At the time, I had discovered a quiet voice inside, coming more from my heart than my head, it told me I no longer wanted to be an aspiring opera singer. At first I wanted to ignore this voice and the more time went on, it got louder and louder and I simply could not …  my heart was opening and once I acknowledged it, the voice was very clear… and then something else happened….

A  floodgate opened… and I started to recognize other voices…. And memories began to whack me upside my head…

The secrets I harbored were so deep, and terribly dark, I couldn’t even say they had been a memory until one day in college they erupted like a continuous lava flow from an angered emotional volcano!  I thank God I had my Dad to help me. I shared with him my memories of being sexually abused at age 4-5, and I recognized the sense I’d been carrying of being a child with very deep, very dark secrets.

(I know this is hard to read just a few paragraphs into a blog…but all things happen for a reason, and have the chance to help.  The story has a happy ending…so please, keep reading to understand how 30 some years later, the facts of the past have become the foundation for the launch of a new era.  AND…learn how you too can have a breakthrough…in spite of, and in the face…of ANYTHING.)

I was confused, and unwinding years of this darkness that kept me hidden….

I questioned everything about myself and recall exclaiming in one conversation “Dad!  I think I might be gay!”  He assured me that would be fine. I was raised in a house were diversity and life choices were upheld, and love was a foundation.  If it were true, I would be accepted.  I continued to unravel the darkness that bound me. I asked every question, peered into every part of my heart and my mind.

To help me understand what I was discovering in my mind, my Dad afforded me to go to my first motivational workshop.  The hope was that it would allow me to take a deep look at my internal world, and gain clarity in who I am and what I wanted in life.  But more importantly, that it would allow me to begin healing myself of all the negative titles I’d put on my nametag for life such as…‘Hi, My Name Is: Worthless’. ..And it absolutely did both and brought me even more clarity than I had ever expected going into the process.

 

I was able to accept my past…and NOT make it define who I would be.

Did what happened to me mean I was destined to continue that behavior? Did I really not know my sexual orientation?   No. And step by step I was able to clear away the darkness that clouded me so that I could make adult decisions about who I am and what I want.  I was able to let the facts be…but the meaning I attached to them uphold who I am today.  The nitty-gritty details of the workshop left me with an enormous gift.  A gift of what to DO when the voices and demons pop-up.  The gift was one of OPTIONS.

I could go on prosecuting myself for the rest of my life.   Or…I could hug that little girl who at age 5 took actions that went unnoticed, and unloved.  And as an adult I can tell her she is worthwhile, loveable, and wonderful.  It was the first time in my life that I realized I was a victim and a hero.  And, I got to choose my character. 

While the initial content in my discoveries was about my sexuality, of course it transferred over into every aspect of my life.  I learned through this enlightening time ways to look at my core and Break through to the Destination I wanted to create in my life!  Through these processes, the question of ‘what is my purpose?’  and ‘what do I want to do with my life?’ became the next heart voices that I pondered.

For the 23 years leading up to that workshop, I was “bred”, to sing professional opera.  And with my Junior Recital ending in a standing ovation from my peers and professors…my heart stood alone on stage asking, “Is this it?  Is this all I will ever do?”  I was overwhelmed with a sense of “Empty”.  And I felt totally unfulfilled.

In that moment, I realized I didn’t want to just make the audience applaud, I wanted them to take action in their lives and be better off.  It wasn’t until I saw  Beth, the facilitator of my first motivational workshop standing on HER stage, with a standing ovation…and a crowd of 210 transformed, empowered lives applauding more at their own strength than of Beth’s performance…I finally knew….THAT WAS MY PURPOSE.

I want to support people in finding their way to applaud themselves!

To believe they have what it takes… to choose themselves!

The journey has taken 15 years… Every bit of it has been training, for this very moment. 

And I’m absolutely floating as I’ve realized another step along this path….On July 22, 2011 Destination Breakthru™ was launched.

Newsha, Kim, Kim, Monica, Chef D, Robyn, Bett, Susan, and Christie

These are the names of the women who gave themselves permission to be who they are at the most recent Destination Breakthru™ Retreat…  To want what they want… To believe they have what it takes to succeed. .. To face who they are in their deepest darkest secret caves… To choose – themselves.

These women have chosen their stories, and now know how to investigate the meanings and options. .. to be grateful for their entire journey… and keep getting out of their own way.

And today, they are UNLEASHED! Bad MAMA-JAMAS!  They are taking action in their lives. 

Today, they are Destination Diva’s!

It’s the dawning of a new era for these women and a dawning of a new era for me.  It was worth every step, every dark corner I peered into, every scare, and every bit of any pain to get here…

I am here today because I had the courage…to ask, find, and pursue my dream. I love that my life experience and choosing my game created this in the world for them. It was worth every step, every dark corner I peered into, every scare and every bit of any pain. I live my purpose today and I am so grateful.

My goal is to bring the transformation to 5 million women in my lifetime.

What’s Next?

 4, 999,989 women left in the next 10+years to support on THEIR journey as they discover the answers to their questions…

Start Your Own Exploration

Your floodgates may look much different than mine… your dark corners and scares are no less important to unwind. We all have things we carry. We have places inside us we determined long ago or we ignored long ago… things that can hold us in place until we choose otherwise.

 I leave you with these questions to start your own exploration.

• Who am I?  If there were no consequences…no judgments, who would I allow myself to be?
• What is my purpose?  If I get past the fears I have that keep me in my cave, what would I do with my business?  My career?
• How do I move forward?  If I sat back and gave myself permission to ‘go for it’ what are the first 1,2, and 3 steps I could take to get moving in that direction?
• Who do I need to surround myself with, to help me when my stories make me out to be a monster? When I get in my own way? When I want to hide or throw in the towel?

 

God Speed.  And all the love in the universe to you on your path. I hope you will hug that little girl inside of you and tell her how wonderful she is.

If you want to do so with a facilitator, consider a coach (check out my coaching page http://www.oncoreperformancegroup.com/coaching/).

If you want to do so in a group…where you can understand ‘what it’s like to feel crazy and find out you’re actually normal in this feeling’…LIKE us on Facebook   

(https://www.facebook.com/pages/Destination-Breakthru/164256160278563)

Take a look at the transformation and join the conversation with the women in this community…  

Stay tuned for more details about the moments of brilliant during the 3-day retreat.  I will be blogging about the stories created over our 3-days, in hopes they offer you insight, support, and ignition to YOUR journey!